Read with Fern

Warning: Spoiler-Filled Rant Ahead!

Okay, so our established cast of characters are:

• Sarah, the wife of Richard Lingate, who died in 1992
• Helen, Sarah’s now adult daughter
• Lorna, Helen’s friend and now assistant to Helen’s uncle, Marcus Lingate
• Naomi, Marcus’s wife 
• Renata, the caretaker for the island villa
• Freddy, Helen’s boyfriend
• Ciro, Renata’s son and Helen’s longtime romantic fling
• Stan, a friend of Sarah’s and current harasser of the Lingate family

In 1992, Helen was 3 years old. She’s left at home with a nanny while her parents, Sarah and Richard go on their annual family vacation with Marcus and Naomi. Marcus and Richard are Lingates, which means they’re known for being really filthy rich. Sarah and Naomi both fell in love with their husbands before considering their wealth and how that would factor into their lives. And now, in 1992, Sarah is ready to divorce Richard and live a life free of rules. Also, Sarah has been sleeping with Marcus on and off since her marriage to Richard and it’s clear that Helen is Richard’s kid, so there’s a lot going on.

While in Capri, Sarah and Richard are diving and spearfishing, and Sarah accidentally shoots Marcus. This is the huge catalyst for her to demand a divorce, and Richard refuses to give it to her. After a full evening drinking with Marcus, Sarah and Richard get into a huge fight and Richard pushes her off the side of the cliff. He leaves her for dead, then tells Marcus. Marcus and Naomi go to move the body, then discover Sarah’s not dead yet. Marcus leaves Naomi to actually kill her, then they throw her body into the ocean. 

The first “twist” is that Renata, the villa caretaker is actually who was killed. She saw Sarah, injured in the garden, and went to help her. Sarah and Renata were both blonde and were wearing red dresses (literally because Renata wanted to match Sarah?) and Naomi killed Renata instead of Sarah. And Sarah, an adult and mother, decided the BEST IDEA was to assume Renata’s identity, raise her son Cido, and stay in Capri FOREVER. But then, she decides to stir the pot by mailing Marcus, her brother-in-law and baby daddy, the necklace she was wearing the night he thinks she was killed.

Cut to the present. Lorna is Marcus’s assistant and Helen’s friend. She’s also a snoopy snoop and is being paid by Stan to investigate Sarah’s death. So when she opens a package and recognizes the necklace, she shows Helen instead of Marcus. And Helen and Lorna devise a plan to blackmail the Lingate family. 

Despite being partners in crime in a foreign country trapped with people who’ve willingly killed family members before, Lorna and Helen both keep secrets from each other. Helen is hiding her romantic relationship with Cido, and Lorna is hiding her deal with Stan. 

The two bumble through the first few days of vacation according to plan. The blackmailing is working, and Marcus gives Lorna the money that she will “deliver to the blackmailers.” Then she disappears, and her body is found two days later. Helen is 👁️👄👁️ while the rest of her family is all “c’est la vie.” And then Helen goes “hmm, this is suspicious,” and continues to push forward with her plan to force her family’s hand and admit their involvement with her mom’s death.

A big part of Helen’s push is a play written by Sarah that Lorna found. The play details a lot of the family secrets, including Sarah and Marcus’s affair. Helen confronts her father, Richard, with the play while at a ballet (of ALL places), and Naomi and Marcus start chiming in with their confessions. It’s revealed that Richard believed he killed Sarah. It’s also revealed that Richard refused the divorce because the Lingate family was broke.  Then there’s a fight, and Marcus is pushed over the side of the cliff (why is a ballet performing on a cliffside??).

In the aftermath, Richard pleads guilty to Marcus’s death and is IMMEDIATELY jailed. Naomi has confessed several times to killing Sarah but gets off scot free. Initially, Helen is still very nice to Naomi, until Naomi admits that she’s changing her will so Naomi won’t get any money. Then Helen decides to kill Naomi and stage it as a suicide, going as far as purposefully requesting an autopsy for literally no reason.

THEN Renata reveals to Ciro and Helen that she’s actually Sarah. And these two THIRTY-YEAR-OLD ADULTS just accept that, and happily accept Sarah as both of their mothers…and get married, have a kid, and move with Sarah to Milan, and everything’s totally normal. EXCEPT Helen’s still hung up on the fact that she got Lorna killed. And that no one admitted to killing her.

Then she starts seeing Lorna everywhere and feels like she’s going crazy. But we get a final chapter from Lorna, revealing that she IS ALIVE, just like Sarah (absolutely crazy, I’m aware). And she willingly killed another yacht girl to have a body that would be identified as her body.

In conclusion, every single person in this book was disgustingly selfish. And the plot was absolutely unhinged and unbelievable. But if you’re looking for a White Lotus experience where you hate everyone even after my full spoilers, go for it 😂